My Secret, My loss and my Loneliness
by Sephyra1
Summary: Ch.7 has been removed in respect to the rules of this site. If you wish to read the cahpter email me and I will sned it to you, please no flames^_^
1. My Secret...

The sky was dark. Rain poured down with no signs of abatement. The thunder boomed and every few moments a birght flash of lightning would streak across the sky. It was here Kain sat. Alone, On a windowsill in one of the bedrooms of Voradors old mansion. He sighed and curled up bringing one knee to his chest. Other than the storm the mansion was dead silent. Of course it is. Theres no one else but me left in here. Kain thought to himself. And it was true. He was the last vampire left. the only one of his kind left to roam the lands of Nosgoth. And He hated it. As strong and independant as he was, Kain, Just like everyone else did need some form of companionship. companionship? What a word. It means nothing. Its all taken away from you in the end. Nothing lasts, nothing is real, the only reality I know Is pain. Pain...suffering...and lonlieness.   
kain found himself thinking a lot about that particular thing. It was hard. He was being hunted and even the people he had once saved now turned against him. All thanks to a certain Timestreamer by the name of Mobius. Now, because of him, everyone he cared for, loved, cherished and trusted was gone. All to horrible deaths either by Kains own hand or by the hands of the Humans...  
Kain hissed softly. Nothing was right anymore. He still had the Option of sacrificing himself, but why give murderers what they wanted. Instead Kain just sat on the windowsill, day after day...  
A chill coursed through him and he curled up still watching the storm. The storm flared and raged...much like the temper of his once ally Sebastian. He could be just as dangerous and wild as any storm. violent and ruthless, caring for none other than himself. He once fought beside Kain, but In the end he became jealous, betrayed Kain, and suffered death by Kains hand. You never backed down, you never ran...Wild as the fiercest storm...and just as beautiful.   
Indeed Sebastian was beautiful as were most of the Vorador's sons. His hair, black like onyx,was kept short and at times wildly spiked. He stood tall, proud...Confident. He was not a large vampire, just very tall and lithe. but the one thing that came to mind the minute someone said his name to Kain was the eyes. Sebastian had eyes too beautiful to belong to any Vampire. They were a strange Blue-green and never stayed one color for long. They shifted and changed, almost in constant motion. Tourmaline, amaranthine, teal...they all could be seen in his eyes. They could be cold and emotionless or warm and inviting.   
Funny how I never saw the warm side...though now I wish I had...Kain thought Bitterly. Sebastian had hated Kain for the longest time. He had his reasons, after all, When Vorador Adopted Kain, he immediately took over as leader of the Vampires army, bumping sebastian down to second in command. This did not sit well. Sebastian found kain arrogant, self centered and demanding. whatever Kain asked of Vorador, he recieved and never said a word of thanks. Kains raised his head in sudden realization that Sebastian had been right all this time.  
And now that I think about it. You were right Bastian...I really was arrogant...I gave no gratitude to the man who saved my life and offered me comfort. Now That I think about it...Vorador was in a way my own father...Its a shame It took me this long to realize it. And now its too late to apologize...  
His humanity still existed in a small part of him and he hung his head. One hand went up to his pointed ear, his finger gently gliding along the earring that once was Vorador's ring. It was All he had left of The man who took him in as a son. A glistening tear in the corner of his eye refusing to fall showed the emotion, hidden deep down inside, the torture he subjected himself to and the guilt he now felt. For his fahter...and for Sebastian. While Sebastian lived Kain would never admit to his admiration for the man, but now that everyone was gone his missed Sebastian terribly...  
And you Sebastian. You hated me. I know you did. Though I hated you not. Strangely it took all my will to kill you. I, In reality couldnt do it...My once human heart wouldn't allow me...I had to force myself. I wanted you by my side, ruling with me...  
Kain laughed bitterly, You cannot bring back what you destroyed...And I Destroyed you...  
The tear fell and kain dropped his pride, dropped his cynical emotion and cried. This was the only thing left for him to do, There was no one left, no where to run...He had killed those he loved or watched them die...And His heart finally broke... 


	2. What I am

The thought...the memory...Kain mused over the times he had died in his quests.When he died, He was revived using the heart of Darkness. The heart Of Janos Audron.The first and the most ancient Vampire known. The heart of Darkness, or at least the ones that revived kain were not the real relic. Merely a copy of the real thing...No one knew where the true heart of Darkness was now that the Sarafan had lost it. It was still out there, yet no soul, living or undead knew where to look.  
  
Kain sighed, wiping his eyes. He hated it when he cried. He felt weak. he felt vulnerable. He felt like a fledgeling all over again. He closed his eyes tightly as he felt his tears come again.   
  
"Dont be afraid to cry Kain, We may be all powerful but were not without expression. To cry is to release the pain that threatens to overwhelm you."  
  
Vorador had told him that when he was young. And he never follwed that advice until now...He missed his father...and he missed sebastian even more. He hit the side of the windowsill in frustration and stood up.   
  
"I have to occupy my mind...and my heart." kain whispered to himself as he made his way down to the Library. He passed the room that once belonged to Sebastian...and stopped. HIs body was frozen in place, His heart sank to the level where it felt to be in the pit of his stomach. He shuddered. The effect that door had on him was always the same. But never...never had kain Dared to enter. Now, with trembling hands and a heart aching at the thought, he reached out to the door...   
  
  
So Vampires do have hearts...funny, I always thought mine was black, and lifeless...I guess I still don't know everything...  
  
  
He gave the door a push and swallowed hard. ther was a lump forming in his throat...  
  
Everything was as it had been left before his betrayal. It looked as if Sebastian still lived there. The stained glass high above the curtains bathed the room in a myriad of colours. The heavy curtains, of the darkest blue, hung closed. The golden torches...though now out still showed signs of usage. The large ornate wardrobe, had a shirt hanging neatly from a hook on the side. His bed was unmade. the dark sheets and soft coveres still showed the evidence of where he had lain. On the dresser and open bottle of scented oil sat. The room had a soft familiar perfume to it and Kain without thinking, reached out and touched the soft sheets. They still held his scent. a blend of a forest at dusk, and spices from far away lands. The whole room smelled that way. Kain could almost feel his prescence with him as he closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to fall down his face. He knelt by the bed and folded his arms on the sheets putting his head down.   
  
Sebastian, wouldnt you mock me to see this....  
  
And it was there he sat, for days on end, not moving to feed or to rest. He continued to just sit there, His mind drowning in a sea of chaotic memories. He wanted to cry, but he could not. he had no more tears left. He wanted to scream, but his voice was hoarse, he wanted to die, but that had happened long ago...  
  
But Vorador had been right. It did feel a little better now. Kain raised his head and for the first time noticed what lay on the large chair at the side of the room.  
  
A cloak, dark blue and made of velvet,folded neatly. Kain rose, and walked over, reaching out. It was...Sebastian's cloak. Kain picked it up and stared at it, the memory returning again. It became harder and harder to deal with everytime it returned...  
  
How sebastian lay there, his cloak crumpled under him, eyes full of pain. those eyes...those eyes of immeasurable depth stared up at him. They blamed him, accused him...and condemned him.And in his last breath, Kain recieved his gift...and lost the one person that still made him feel alive...  
  
He recovered from his memory to find he had clutched the cloak tightly to him. He could not release the cloak. His hands still trembled as he held the shroud, His plae eyes fixated on it. Before he even realized what he was doing, he had searched the room, finding a piece of parchment and an inkwell on the desk. It was not like Sebastian was going to return but it mattered not to Kain. He hadn't the sightest idea why but he wrote in his slanted hand,  
  
Sebastian...you had no idea...but Im sure you would have scorned me had you known...I am taking this...Your cloak... as a reminder of you...a fond memory in a dark world. You made me real... We fought, but you made me think, made me feel. You made me strong...If it werent for you, I would have perished....  
  
"Sebastian, You made me what I am." kain said aloud, what he had wrote as he put down the quill and wrapped the cloak around himself. rubbing the soft material in his hand. It envolped him in a soft warmth, and the essence of its owner washed over Kain in a wave. Kain closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Serenity...peace... he was...comforted.   
  
Mortainius made me a vampire Sebastian... Vorador made me a fighter...  
  
But you made me Kain... 


	3. Greetings and...Goodbye?

{okay Im going ot say this now so I dont have to later. Neither Kain Nor Sebastian belong to me...pity. They all belong To Eidos and Crystal Dynamics. In fact all of the characters in this story belong to Eidos and Crystal Dynamics. but their love lives and preferences. *grins* are mine to twist! sorry for the lack of updates but I am working on two stories at once! ( The other is A fledgeling's discovery. Im having a big creative rush here!)  
  
  
  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kain spent that day wrapped in the cloaks protective warmth. He felt somehow at peace, he somehow felt his pain ease slightly. The cloak still had Sebastian's soft scent, and it still felt like he was near. Kain had fallen asleep on Sebastians bed, and dreamed in bits and peices. Most nightmares, or memories but none enough to cause him pain. He awoke later to the sound of thunder. Again it was storming and again he was confined. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, still red from all his crying. he looked about the dark room. The glittter of gold caught kains attention,and he slowly made his way over to the chair and lit the torch nearby.  
  
There, on the chair, rested a box. And It was rather large, with beautiful inlays and jems, though the symbol of the Saafan was on the lid. Kain had not seen it before as the cloak was in the way, He opened the lid slowly wary of its contents. Inside was a small shallow tray, and in it was an assortment of jewellry. Kain picked up a simple gold ring. It said Sebastian's name in Nosgothic Runes. he looked it over in his hand. It was a heavy gold, but flawless and shining. Kain smiled and dropped the ring back into the box, closing it as the ring landed with a hollow thump. kain turned away and walked to the door. He needed a drin....wait a minute.... kain thought to himself as he turned around and walked back to the box. It had made a very hollow sound...  
He walked back to the golden box and opened the lid again. He pulled on the small tray inside the box...It came loose. Kain pulled it out with trembling hands, his brow furrowed. He dropped the tray with a sharp cry as his eyes went wide. It was one thing to hear a legend and listen to tales, but it was another matter completely to rest eyes upon it. Kain felt a sharp agony in his heart for the poor creature. A torture so painful...so cruel that one could not help but feel sorry for the creature. He felt sick.   
Che closed the lid and picked up the box, still feeling ill and wondering just how Sebastian had gotten a hold of the thing. He walked to the Library and set it down on a table, having to all by force himself to open the box again.  
Immediately the visage of the Ancients face, the clear blue skin, the amber eyes that emanated peace and serenity, The large feathered wings that arched from his strong back...Then another visage made him tremble. That beautiful creature, lying across the table, torn open for the whole, cruel world to see, his heart still beating in The Sarafan leader's hand. Janos was living when they tore his heart away...He was still feeling the pain...Kain let the ill feeling take him, as he still wondered why Sebastian held it.   
  
"The heart...of Darkness...the replicas are nothing compared to the real horror of your plight Janos...but I fear I must do something...Janos, I thank you for you sacrifice...It is not in vain..."  
  
It took all of Kains strength to close the lid and pick up the box again.Tee nauseaous feeling returned. He shivered as he walked to the window and looked out. The rain had stopped. Kain, without delay, opened the door and set off through the swamp towards what was left of Meridian. He moved quickly, all the while Sebastians cloak sheltered him in its velvet warmth. It was what gave him the strength to continue. He moved on, trudging through the swamp, and emerging outside. He took a moment to gather his bearings, and still holding the box tightly, veered off in the direction of Meridian.  
  
He was careful to stay out of sight, after all vampire hunters still existed and the townsfolk liked him not. He entered Meridian quietly through the back alley and and made his way into the depth of the industrial Sector. He looked around at the ruins of the place, and found it difficult to locate the landmark he searched for. He located it after intensively searching and headed farther in. He walked for what felt like hours, on guard, tensing at every sound. Clutching the box he prayed to all of his Dark Gods that this was over soon.  
He reached his destination, his mind reeling now. Memory, loss... agony. The sights, the sounds....the heat...Kain shook his head viloently to force out the relapse. He was aware that even though he held the cloak, he was cold.  
He placed the box down and opened it forcing down the terrible thoughts. He now shrugged out of Sebastians cloak and laid it on the ground softly. He sighed.   
  
He closed his eyes and detached his soul. Seeking any who rested nearby, he searched. He found nothing. He concentrated on locating it...nothing... he searched frantically, desperate to find it as he could not   
  
And he found it. The lost soul. he spoke softly "Janos, Your sacrifice grants unlife as if it had never perished...The time has come again. Kain touched the spirit. It faded away as the ground heaved a sigh. The ground under the cloak raised and the heart beat again...louder and stronger before falling silent. Kains mind raced, his palms were damp. He felt his body shake as he returned to it, exhausted. He was drained. He reached over as he caught his breath and picked up the cloak. Those eyes...Amaranthine eyes....the gazed at him a moment before they narrowed. Kain couldn't help but feel a small amount of joy. Sebastian....It had worked.  
  
"You again. Is it not bad enough that I despise you. Now you have to revive me so this starts again." he got up, his strength returning quickly.   
  
Kain scrambled to his feet, not expecting to be greeted so harshly. yet his mind chided him, You knew Kain...you just deluded yourself into thinking that he would accept you...you are a fool...  
  
Sebastian advanced slowly on kain, who was still recovering from the revival ritual. Kain backed up, trying his hardest to regain his strength. Sebastian grinned, his eyes cold again.   
"So, you are still as you always were. Though fear is new. I suits you..." He was angry. kain felt it. the wall. he had no where to run, and nowhere to hide. Sebastian slammed one hand against the wall on either side of kain, preventing his escape. He leaned in snarling. For once it was Kain who was trapped.  
Sebastian half expected one of Kain's sarcastic remarks to break the silence, but found himself bewildered. Kain was looking at him with strange eyes. A look he had never seen before. It was ....soft. Before he could turn away Kain spoke, his voice barely a whisper   
  
"You hate me?"  
  
Sebastian blinked. What kind of a question was that? he grinned sadistically. A chance to really make kain squirm. Sebastian fought the urge to say somethingunlike him, and instead opted to look Kain in the eye with a dangerous look.   
  
"Hate isn't a strong enough word Kain..."  
  
"I suppose then that you...."kain faltered. "...Hate me more than the Sarafan?" Kain had almost a look of pain in his eyes as he telekinetically retrieved Sebastian's cloak in his hands.   
  
Sebastian was confused. Kain....Hes playing some sort of game with my mind. Well this time he wont win... "I hate you more than I hate humanity, more than I hate the Sarafan...I...DESPISE...you." Sebastian grinned inwardly. that should put a stop to this mind game.  
  
Kain blinked, his eyes changing. they became dull, pale. they looked....broken. they seemed almost wet with....tears? Sebastian was taken aback when kain pushed his arm gently aside and walked away, his silver hair caught in the wind. He turned back and loked at Sebastian once more, this time there were tears. Two...in the very corner of his eyes. He spoke softly. "I said I wished you to rule beside me...but I am sure Ruling Nosgoth is much easier if you do it yourself Sebastian."  
  
Sebastian was shocked. Kain had removed his armour, and along with it Vorador's ring. His Blood Reaver he took with him, along with sebastians cloak, but that was it. Kain dissappeared and said softly. "Balance."  
Sebastian opened his mouth to speak but nothing came. He tried to comprehend what just happened. He looked down to see the Heart of Darkness. He blinked. "Kain did revive me....but why?"  
He picked up kains things and the golden box, before setting off in a mad dash, back to his father mansion.   
  
Upon arrival, he found that Kain wasn't there. Sebastian searched every room, finding no sign of the silver haired vampire.   
  
"Where did he go?" Sebastian mused as he entered his own room. everything looked fine. But there was a parchment on the desk....sebastian moved slowly over and read it. When he reached the end he came to a startling conclusion.   
  
....You made me Kain....  
  
He froze...Kain...admired him...Kain....Loved him? He dropped what he held in his hands except for the box. Kain had been trying to tell him that back in Meridian...Sebastian had gone...and...and...  
Sebastian drew in a sharp breath. " I broke him. I broke the heart of the ruler of all nosgoth....me...I was the one he desired...I broke his hert in one foul swipe." Sebastian felt....terrible. It was not like him to feel that way, but the secret in his own heart betrayed him. he hung his head. He destroyed the chance to be with the one person he found beautiful...  
  
"Balance? kain was the pillar of Balance...he must be there....but why?" He didnt have to think long. It hit him like a hard blow. He stumbled back. Kain was going to restore balance...  
He raced off, without thinking. He used his speed to almost fly to the Pillars. and as he approached them a feeling of Foreboding washed over him. The pillars all stood tall, and pure, reaching up to the sky. The pillar Of Balance rested in the center, just as pround and....pure...  
Yet its base was not so pure. Something rested at its base....  
  
Sebastian let out a shrill cry and raced the short distance to the pillar. The object resting at its base was a pale, silver haired vampire. He looked as if he were just resting...but the large wound in his chest and the puddle of crimson showed otherwise. Kain's Skin was a pale grey, his soft hair stained with crimson. his eyes were open, staring ahead. More of a brown than an amber they showed no life. and And asSebastian looked on Horrified, the corners of his eyes glistened, and two small tears tracked down his lifeless face. He had cried his last tears forthe one that stood in front of him.   
Sebastian cried out again. A piercing sharp, forlorn cry. He knelt and pulled Kains body into his arms.   
  
The spectre Ariel was free. But she looked on at Sebastian. He looked at her and narrowed his eyes "You!... you got your wish Ariel...Kain restored Balance. you little game is won. go Be free you heartless wench..."   
  
Sebastian was in tears. "leave me to my mourning..."  
  
She stared at Sebastian, and found herself unable to meet his eyes. He was right. their Games cost one man his mortality, his after life and his happiness. She remained where she floated head down.   
  
Sebastian Cradled Kains head in his arms, closing his staring eyes gently. "Im sorry. I thought this was one of your games..." he placed his face against Kain's. "I..." He faltered, acidic tears streaming down his face. HIs kissed Kain's forehead softly. "im...I'm sorry. You revived me beacuse you loved me...and my pride took over..."  
He leaned against the Pillar, oblivious to Ariel. He leaned down and kissed Kain's cold lips once as his tears spilled down. as he pulledaway he held the body close and whispered.  
  
"I made you strong...  
I made you feel...  
I made you kain...."  
  
  
  
And I destroyed you... 


	4. Rain...

{heh Chapter 4 is up! thank you to everyone who reviewed. Im glad to see I get such positive feedback about such a touchy subject. Thanks again to My wonderful 'Bastian for his creative inspiration (my real life bastian ^_^) hes helped me with a lot of this along with big input on my other fic. Thanks as well to Bloodthirsty and Nina Inhertz for their inpiring words, To Venris, AmuseMe, Ecky67 Nightshade Goddess, Kobura Doragon, and Emeral Embers for their reviews! I love you all! *throws plushies!!!!!!!!!*}  
{By the way this is a songfic chapter. The song is "Frozen". now I dont pick the songs because of artist. I pick them beause of meaning. ^_^ dont forget to read and review}  
  
  
  
Your heart is not open so I must go  
The spell has been broken, I loved you so  
Freedom comes when you learn to let go  
Creation comes when you learn to say no...  
  
Sebastian cradled Kain in his arms, tears staining his pale, ivory cheeks and the cheeks of his fallen love. He refused to release him. He held Kain tight. his arms wrapped protectively over his lord. He couldnt let go...not now...not ever...Too long his emotions had been bottled up, too long they had been swept aside to loom over his heart in the darkness. He waited too long to speak his mind...he waited too long to reveal his heart...now this was his punishment.  
  
You were my lesson I had to learn  
I was your fortress you had to burn  
Pain is a warning that something's wrong...  
  
  
With a soft sigh, he picked Kain up and wrapped him in his cloak. He looked at the pillar, then at Ariel. "Your 'Balance' is restored..." He couldnt stand to look at the specter. The conniving, scheming witch that she was. She would have done anything to ensure her release from the pillars. He was sure she'd had a hand in Kain's death. After all why wouldn't she help if it meant her release. She wanted more than anything to be free. And worst of all, she wouldnt think twice of helping Kain along...  
  
Ariel opened her mouth as if to speak, but fell silent. Sebastian had made his point clear. She was much to blame. She knew Kain would have to die to release her and she deliberatly helped him. when he arrived at the pillars, she was there. He told her he was going to restore balance. She remembered he had hesitated...she lured him, telling him of the great release, and happiness he would have. She told him to do it for himself, not for the land. She remebered he finally did...impaling hiself on his sword. He died in his unlife the same way he did in his life....alone. She had smiled, and actually laughed...She mocked the man that sacrificed himself for her. She felt a great burden suddenly on her heart as she looked at Sebastian. Her eyes suddenly went wide.   
  
Kains spirit had not gone to rest. Instead it stood by Sebastian, reaching out as if to touch him. It was clear he could not. She could see he longed...he ached. Much like she did. Only this time she was free. She was on the outside looking in. She had lied to him, she told him there would be release, and happiness. She knew she had tricked him, but she didnt know he would be bound here. She had been freed, but now...another guardian had taken her place...damned to the pillars.  
  
Ariel noticed that when Sebastian rose, carrying the body of the ruler of Nosgoth, Kains spirit tried to follow. He could not leave the pillars. He was now bound to them as she once was. Now she was the one who had inflicted suffering upon the guardian of Balance. Kain kept trying to follow and failed. He tried several more times desperately, calling and crying to Sebastian silently before, slowly, he moved back to the pillar of Balance and let out a soft cry. It echoed througout the valleys and over moutains. Ariel felt it wrench her heart. It was a heart breaking cry. Mournful and lonely. It chilled her, it made her heart feel frozen. She had never felt so guilty. Sebastian was the only one who didn't hear the cry...  
There's nothing left to try...  
There's no place left to hide...  
There's no greater power...  
Than the power of good-bye...  
  
  
Kain still watched Sebastians departing figure sadly. He was empty and alone. Truly alone. His eyes no longer bright amber. instead they were pale and clouded. He had tried so hard to speak to Sebastian, but he found he could not.His voice was not there and his hands couldnt reach... He was now a spirit. Like ...Ariel, who had told him he would be free. He looked up at Ariel.   
"Liar.."  
  
She turned away, unable to face him. She was expecting her spirit to find rest. Yet she did not. She was shocked. She was supposed to be at rest. Something still kept her bound here. She looked down.  
  
Kain...  
  
Until he was released, she would be here. After all she did help kill him. She was being punished for her crime.   
  
Kain was curled up, his head down. Another cry issued from his lips,  
  
"Sebastian don't leave me..."   
  
And again, it echoed through the land. The sky became dark and the thunder began to crash. The wind began to howl, shaking the trees violently. The rain began to pelt down hard, its drops rebounding off of the base of the pillars. He let the rain fall and with a loud echoing cry the lightning began to flash around him. He was in agony...more now than he'd ever been. He'd never see the others....never see Sebastian. Forever bound to these wretched pillars. His death was supposed to end the suffering...He wanted to rest, but there was no respite for him, he wanted to die, but now he was beyond death. Beyond death and beyond life...The rain came down much harder as he cried. it seemed the weather was mimicking the emotional turmoil inside of his own soul.  
  
There's nothing left to lose  
There's no more heart to bruise  
There's no greater power  
Than the power of good-bye  
Learn to say good-bye  
I yearn to say good-bye...  
  
Sebastian walked ,head down, still carrying Kain wrapped in his cloak. And also still carrying the heart of Darkness in his travel sack. There was no point in using it if kains soul had already dissappeared. He had no time to seek shelter when the rains came and he closed his eyes, He waited for it to destroy him, kill him yet again so maybe...maybe he could apologize to the one in his arms.He turned up his face, awaiting the agony of the burn...Nothing happened. The rain merely ran off of his face, bathing him in its cool shower. He remembered once how he had told his brothers how much he missed the rain. He remembered how kain laughed, saying that it was strange a vampire could want to get wet. Sebastian cradled the body close as he remembered that laugh. I was mocking but it still had life and strength in it. Sebastian tilted back his face, lettting the rain hit him. Maybe...maybe Kain was giving him his wish...  
"But if Kain is giving me my wish then his spirit..." Sebastian stopped walking.   
  
"His spirit is still at the Pillars!"   
He turned back and began to run. maybe...just maybe Janos Audron would again be kind enough to save another soul...maybe he could save Kain... 


	5. Restoration

(okay for those of you who read the last chapter a little mix up! Frozen is the song in this chapter, and he power of Goodbye is the other.. theyre both my favorite songs so I get them mixed up quite often. So just so you know the song Frozen is in this chapter not the last one ^_^ thank you for reminding me Wolfywoman. *gives her a pick of which plushie she wants*  
Wolfywoman - both songs are by Madonna, as cheesy as it is. Actually I find her music from that period is not half bad.(even though I cant stand listening to her new stuff -.-)  
Ecky67- Im glad you like it. *hands her a plushie*  
Emerald Embers- Sure you can have them for your site. Im glad you guys like my stories.  
Elashana- Its easy to miss my stories. theyre not too well known! ^_^  
Bloodthirsty- Yes you are inspiring! ^_^  
Dark Nayru, Kobura Doragon, Light in Dark_ thank you so much for the reviws! *throws plushies*  
Now on to chapter 5 YAY! just in case you were curious 'Bastian and I are now running a website on LoK. Now its just began but there is some good fanart in there by 'Bastian. theres also a picture of the character form A fledgelings Discovery, Gabril. www.geocities.com/Nosgoth_moon/index  
anyway ON WITH CHAPTER 5!!!!  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
You only see what your eyes want to see...  
  
How can life be what you want it to be  
  
If youre Frozen, when your heart is not open...  
  
  
Kain's spirit raised his head as he heart the sound of boots hitting ground nearby. Sebastian was running back towards the Pillars. Had he heard Kain's cry? He looked at Sebastian who by now was soaked through. his black hair was flat and dripping, and small raindrops fell from his long eyelashes. Kain was a bit surprised that Sebastian had not been burned alive. What had caused the rain not to burn him?  
  
Sebastian unwrapped Kains body. The rain did not burn it either. He put down his travel satchel and removed the Heart of Darkness. He looked down at it as he held in trembling hands. This was the heart of Janos Audron. He held it in reverance if nothing else, marvelling at its power and mourning how it came to be. he saw Ariel again and his anger seethed. She still remained. He hated her more with every breath  
  
  
  
Youre so concerned with how much you get,  
You waste your time with hate and regret  
you're frozen...  
  
  
Kain reached out again to touch him, and again he could not. It frusterated him even more. He could not speak, he could not reach out....all he could do was watch. And even that became hard...He felt everything around him fade. Was he slipping away, even as a spirit was he fading? No, he was Actually binding to the pillar, being pulled into it. He fought it, It was winning. He saw now what opened his eyes. Sebastian...cared? It was a shocking revelation and it almost blew his mind. He wanted to Badly to reach out. he ached for one more touch, one last word...  
  
  
  
If I could melt your heart...  
We would never be apart.   
Give yourself to me...  
You hold the key...  
  
  
  
Ariel looked on worried. This had not happened to her when she was murdered...she was free to move about the pillars. Something was wrong. What had she done..?  
  
Sebastian held the heart near Kain and spoke softly almost in Prayer to the Ancient who died to create the relic, "Janos, Father of All vampires...Sire of my Father...I ask your heart, your soul to grant life again to one that has been robbed of it. I pledge my heart forever in the ways of the Vampire. A dark child reborn I am. please...I implore you, return his life." Sebastian began to   
chant softly.  
  
"I pledge my heart, to him I hold, my friend, my love on holy ground.   
And never a doubt within my heart ever shall be found.  
Today I bare my own heart for all the world to see,   
if you will grant me one last wish..." His eyes were full of tears,  
"And return my love to me..."  
  
Sebastian thought about the fighting and the hateful words they had exchanged on so many occasions. They were obviously only a way of covering up truth. Both were seeking the same thing and neither was willing to bend. they were both responsible but neither had wanted to give. They both hurt themselves...and each other.  
  
Now there so point in placing the blame,  
And you should know suffer the same  
If I lose you, my heart would be broken.  
  
Kain felt his world fading. More and more the edges of his vison blurred and became dark. He could barely see Sebastians face as the world went black. Everything was dissappearing...Kain closed his eyes and finally let the Darkness take him. He was tired of fighting. He was too weary and too weak. He felt his spirit though, now pulled towards Sebastian and not the pillar. But that was all he felt. Now he was too weary to do more than accept his fate. maybe he could find rest.  
"goodbye Sebastian..."  
  
Sebastian felt a shiver run thorugh him. he saw the heart glow. He felt the warmth flood over him a surge of energy like a shock pulsed in him and he felt like a small piece of his own soul had been taken.  
  
"This is it..."  
  
He opened his eyes after the feeling had passed. He was breathing heavy, his chest heaving as he gasped for breath, Nothing had changed. Sebastian felt agony, and weariness creep into his Awareness. An empty void opened like a rift ripped through his heart. It welled inside and broke over him like a wave. It drowned him in pain and threatened to submerge him forever. He broke down and cried, no holds barred. He had failed. He could not bring back the one person that meant everything to him... He closed his eyes again, picking up Kain. Again he cradled the pale vampire in his arms, his cheek against Kains. He did not even notice when the rain had stopped. His misery overrode everything and he was reduced to nothing as fast as that. "I know why the rain didn't hurt me..." he sighed. "the gods didnt want me to find release..."  
  
"You torture yourself Bastian...over something that no longer matters...the past is the past and it where it shall stay..."   
  
Bastian felt a grip. A soft squeeze. He opened his eyes. Forever coloured amber stared back at him. Sebastian blinked.  
"I dream...I am dreaming. I see what I could not have before my weary eyes I.."  
  
He was silenced by dark lips as the closed over his in a very real kiss. He instinctively wrapped his arms tight and leaned in, he felt that if he let go it could be his last. If it were a dream...he never wanted it to end. He felt the heat, the life of the vampire in his arms. The kiss became deeper as Kain's strength returned, he wrapped his arms too around his love and held him close. The mere thought of losing him again was too much. They sank completely to the ground as he ran hands through spun silk of Kains hair and across the fine pale features of his face.   
He lay close to kain, feeling the warmth of his body and the spice of his blood. Kain drew from Sebastian's lips as teeth grazed. Sebastian encouraged him, moaning a soft reply into Kain's mouth. The kisses and blood ignighted a fire within him that he could not quench. But not here. No, he would wait until they were home and safe. and it took immense willpower to reluctantly break the kiss."I am not dreaming..."  
  
Kain laughed softly gasping for breath. "No Sebastian, you are not." he placed a hand, palm flat against Sebastians chest. "I am here."  
  
Sebastian ran a thumb softly along kains lips as Kain nipped lightly. "You are here."  
  
"And here I will stay."  
  
Sebastian smiled and rose, taking Kain with him. Kain, upon seeing Ariel, was silent a moment. His eyes became cold. She looked nervous as she watched him. He spoke, his voice barely above a hiss.  
"I am not the corruption and pollutant of Nosgoth. You are. Balance is restored but you...you spectre will haunt these pillars forever," Kains voice became a booming echo across the land. "I damn you to the pillars, never to be released. Ariel the guardian of Balance...*Destroyer* of balance, you are a mockery. Forever suffer for the manipulation you put on so many others."  
  
She looked at kain horrified. "Kain, have Mercy please."  
  
"Mercy?!" Kain was outraged. "You Dare speak to me of compassion or Mercy? You *used* me in your little game. I will play the pawn no more. You never showed me mercy. you planned for me to die all along Ariel. I am the Guardian of Balance. I believe in Fairness. Therefore I show you no mercy."  
  
"kain." She knew he was right. If he were to be fair she was damned there.  
  
"SILENCE!" he roared. "you are damned here ariel until I so deem you can leave!" Kain was still a little weak and swayed on his feet slightly. Sebastian caught him and steadied him with a strong arm. And as he led Kain off towards Vorador's Mansion he growled.   
  
"You were the one who brought this upon yourself. You can claim no innocence Ariel...Kain is the ruler now. Once again the king has risen. And his word, is law..." 


	6. IMPORTANT NOTE!

AUTHORS NOTE: I have been working hard on this story and I really appreciate your input. This story is FAR from finished. and I would love more feedback. and as for any who wish to send your stories or art to me by all means do! I am waiting to get some guest works before I put up my gallery. AS you all know I am working on 2 fics at once. Sadly, Fledgelings discovery has only recieved one review in chapter 8. Im going to keep going, but I ask that if you read it, please review! On to the good news! I have decided to KEEP working on the Kain/sebby fic I am going to produce at least 6 more chapters! and hey maybe it will be a hit! ^_^  
And before I forget I have some special Shoutouts!  
  
Venris- Youve given me countless reviews and inspiration! thank you! *buries her in plushies* If you ever want a fanart done by all means ask! Ill do one for you! ^_^ and of course you can draw some pictures for my ficcy! ^_^  
  
Bloodthirsty- Another major reviwer. THankies thankies!!!!! You inspire!  
  
AmuseMe- You have been a great help! I appreciate it! *throws plushies*  
  
NightShade goddess- Again thank you for your reviews! Im going to run this fic as long as I can! dont worry Ill do at LEAST 6 more chapters!   
  
Dark Nayru - Here! Plushie for you too! ^_^  
  
Light In Dark - A book? Id love to but Eidos would probably sue me for everything! ^_^ which isnt much by the way  
  
Kobura Doragon- glad youre enjoying yourself.  
  
Special thanks as well to Ecky67, Raziel-valentine, Grim, Krimzon, Wolfywoman, Emerald Embers, Silveriss,and Nina Inhertz. Plushies to all! ^_^  
  
Well the next update is on Fledgelings Discovery! ^_^ 


End file.
